Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
I shit you not. I was sitting on Brian's balcony...still drunk from the night before, and a hummingbird flew onto the patio, stared me right in the face and flew away. I feel like it was God's way of telling me, "Stop drinking."
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize
