he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
it's like iHOP with fire
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
I'll like his pictures on Instagram every once and a while so that when he sees my name he is reminded of the best blow job he's ever gotten.
I haven't been dieting for my entire life to date some guy who thinks his dad bod is a riot.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
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