Everytime she opens her mouth it's like a fucking terrorist attack on my life.
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
third nipple confirmed
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
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