I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize