thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
