I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
that lady just saw me taking a picture of her baby... It's time to leave.
Randomize
