Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
found the other keg... it's in the tree
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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