You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
