Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
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