I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
And then we can spend New Year's Day sprawled across the tiles watching greys anatomy and puking into the bushes over the balcony. It'll be great
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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