Plan B is the new Plan A
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
Randomize