No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My bed is full of blood and feathers
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
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