i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Hey, umm this is awkward but I want to apologize in case you find gum in your pubes. Not sure if I swallowed it or spit it out. It's all a blur.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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