that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize