I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I found a guy who will take me to the Olive Garden and he is CONVENTIONALLY ATTRACTIVE.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
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