no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I just want to fall into a pit of xannies and eat my way out.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I need to calm my uterus...
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
