i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Just because you were able to pour the entire bottle of wine into 2 glasses does not mean you took it easy last night.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
