One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
Speeding home on my break at work because I forgot to grab my Percocets that I have because getting through work sober's too hard
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
Randomize
