Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
My mom said she saw you at the bar last night and asked how you were. She said, you replied with, "Oh you know, just knocked up."
Figured I'd get right to the point
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
