were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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