i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
the liver wants what the liver wants
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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