I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I managed to convince him it was his fault I cheated on him...he spent the last 40 minutes going down on me. I feel legendary.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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