hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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