so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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