im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
Randomize
