took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
