Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I'm spoon feeding myself tequila for breakfast, should we skip class today?
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
my nose is crying tears of wow.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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