This girl is more easily done than said...
she said "can't you just pull out and cum on my face? I hate scooping jizz out of my vag".
I'm assuming you texted me by mistake. you're not jizzing in or on me again, thanks for playing, douchebag.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
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