what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
