im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
When did we convert life to cartoon?
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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