Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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