He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Randomize
