Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
you woke me up at 1am last night high on cough syrup to tell me jay z was an idiot for cheating on beyonce
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
Randomize
