whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
just got super drunk mixing jägermeister with my lyme disease meds. even if my face goes paralyzed, at least i got smashed from it.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
This year i'm grateful for nothing other than the discovery that the uncircumcized rumors about him were wrong
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
