He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
I was not drunk. There was Star Wars, sex, and baby oil.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
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