so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
