HIV tests are more positive than that guy
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I'm sober enough to question why I have your name as "the wolverine" in my phone.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My lower body still feels like its been through a garbage disposal and a trash compactor. In that order.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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