there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
Randomize
