Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
What the fuck dude?
Sorry bro...
YOU HUMPED ME FOR AN HOUR WHILE YELLING "I GOTTA ASSERT DOMINANCE"
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