come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Randomize
