all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
I just had a 30-minute convo with an irrelevant fuckboy from college who decided to tell me FOUR years later he’s sorry for sleeping with 3 girls at once including me.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
