return my video game
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Randomize
