I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
