Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
She fucked me for a ride to the airport. If this is what the rest of college is like, I'm never graduating.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
Randomize
