oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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