Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
If youre worried about being stabbed, you probably shouldnt be there.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Randomize
