Pappa wants mamma naked
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Randomize
