its not stalking. its research.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
