so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
Well statistically J has a 1 in 3 chance of hospitalization when downtown
And a 3 for 3 for disapeearing
She couldn't find her toothbrush so I had to wait while she sucked on the 12 peppermints she found under the couch. Pretty resourceful for her level of intoxication.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
