If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Randomize
