Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
Its about making memories worth repressing
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Randomize
