We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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