Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
u were so high that u chewed on candle wax for an hour
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I've been smelling a baby wipe for three minutes. I didn't think I was that drunk but I guess I am
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
You rolled around in the grass BEFORE we went in and said it was because "ladies love that eau de earth"
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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