Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
