Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
