how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
i'm out of smokes so i just had an after sex popsicle. this might become an addiction.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
