apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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