i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
operation have a gay friend backfired
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
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